The feeling of Christmas Eve
by Tobina
Summary: A bit early - I know...It's a story about Haibara Ai and her feelings about Christmas Eve. Is there really nothing special about this night that is worth leaving the house? (OS Complete)


Just some little facts about this story before we get started. This was originally written for a German DC-fandom advent-calendar-action, so I went with the German traditions. I know - the Kudos live in LA and in America it's the 25.12 where most of the celebrating takes place. Just go with it for the sake of this story ^_^ My given keywords were "Ai" and "Christmas Eve") In Germany, Christmas Eve is reserved for the closest family circle and it involves an opulent dinner (well, not in every household, but in the most) and exchange of presents. I think in America the kids receive their presents on the morning of the 25th?

Oh – and if you like to listen to music whilst reading, I recommend 'Shiroi Yuki' by Mai Kuraki (also once used as a DC-ending song)

Enjoy the story! :)

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I still do not own anything about Meitantei Conan. It's all Gosho Aoyama's

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**The feeling of Christmas Eve**

Her warm breath fogged on the cold window. The world outside, separated from her by just two thin panes, was dark, chill and calm. Snow covered the city like a blanket that swallowed every noise. In the streetlamps pale light she watched the tiny snowflakes – how they danced and swirled in the whisper of the wind; just to settle down on the hats and jackets of the few people passing and melting away within seconds.

Taking a deep breath, Ai turned away from the window and focused her attention back at the chemical formulas on her laptop. She reached for the blue cup beside it and blew lightly on its hot content, while her eyes followed the lines on the monitor. Carefully she took a sip and set the cup aside again, eying it disgusted. _'Think I should reduce the caffeine a bit. A lot of it might keep you awake, but you have to be able to actually drink it.'_

For the next minutes only the clatter of the keys could be heard while her small finger flew over them. Sign by sign was added to a code that hopefully would bring her nearer to a cure for the APTX. No one disturbed her train of thoughts. Agasa Hakase had a night out with his science colleagues. She'd had to do a lot of persuading until he'd agreed to leave. He just didn't want her to be on her own. Not in this night when the whole world was celebrating the feast of love – Christmas Eve.

_'Well – maybe not the _whole_ word,' _she thought with a crooked smile. After all, it was a Christian holiday that wasn't celebrated everywhere. Nevertheless, due to Hollywood and savvy businessmen, it found its way into the heterodox parts of the globe. Although most completely missed the point about its actual meaning, they were all too happy to comply the consumption binge – buying presents for their loved ones. Also Tokyo hadn't been spared by this trend and the city was decorated with thousands upon thousands of little lights.

For Ai herself the night was nothing to get excited about. The night and the following days were just like any other. That everything around her got drowned by gingerbread and Christmas songs bothered her not in the least. In times past – there had been Christmas celebrations for her too. With her parents and Akemi. But that was long ago. If the everyday memories of her family were bittersweet, these special ones were almost unbearable. So she kept them safe in a tightly closed drawer in the very back of her mind.

Ironically, her life in the organization had helped her to get over these memories after her parents had died. Holidays hadn't exactly been top priority in the there. Most of the time she'd had so much work to do that she wasn't even sure what day the calendar showed and so these kind of things came and went unnoticed until they'd lost all their meaning to her. Thus she was very content, expediting her researches in quiet - without ruffle or excitement.

Just this quiet was broken by laughter. Frowning Ai looked out of the window again. Her glance fell on three figures who were trudging through the snow – clearing their way from the street up to the well-lit neighbor-house. _'Right – Kudo-kun's parents are visiting during the holidays.' _She remembered how Conan had told her eye-rolling that his mother would decorate the house to the bursting point again.

Naturally they wanted to spent the days with their son. Because officially they were only distant relatives to Conan, it would have been odd just inviting him. So Ran and her father also would have the doubtful pleasure enjoying Yukiko's Christmas outburst. Obviously she loved this holiday with all the trimmings. There even was a sleigh in the front yard – completely illuminated. _'I don't think I will ever get the gist of this.'_

After a short once-over she saved her work and went over to the sink with the now lukewarm coffee in her hands, where she disposed of the distasteful brewage. _'And down the sink you go…' _She planned to pull an all-nighter and reprogrammed the coffeemaker. Listening to the gurgling sound with which the boiling water was pumped to the filter, she leaned on the kitchen counter.

A knock on the door startled her out of her trancelike state. Watching falling drops of coffee had a downright hypnotizing effect. She went to the door. She would have liked to look through the peephole, but because it was too high up she had to go back to more old-school methods. "Who is it?" she called out in a not very inviting tone. "It's me! Come on – open up! It's freezing out here," came an unfazed boys-voice back. _'Just great – there goes my peace and quiet. Maybe he will go away if I don't open the door?...Who am I kidding…'_

Forcefully she opened the door what caused the boy who was just about to knock again, to land prone in the doorway with a little furry of snow around him. "What can I do for you Kudo-kun?" She asked in a deadpan voice, while he picked himself up and adjusted his too big glasses. "Courteous as always Haibara," Conan grumbled. Ai just raised a brow and remained silent.

"Well, you know – I saw light in here and thought you…" He tried to peer past her into the house. "…are you alone? Where is Hakase?" Ai crossed her arms and positioned herself pointedly right in front of him. "He is out. If you want to talk to him, come back tomorrow." With these words she tried to shove him back out of the door. "Hey – wait a minute-" he protested and braced himself against her. "What?" came her slightly annoyed reply. He really could be a pain sometimes. All she wanted to do was to continue with her work without interruptions.

Unconsciously he rubbed the back of his head, smiling at her sheepishly. "Do you want to come over? You know – celebrate Christmas and…stuff like that?"

She stared at him blinking. Did she hear that right? "Uhm…" A bit irritated she looked back at her opened laptop. "You know…I'm a bit busy here and I'm sure you want to stay among yourselves." Now he grinned brightly. "Nonsense! Turn off your laptop and come on!"

Just then the coffeemaker indicated with a piercing peeping tone that its job was done. "My coffee is ready…and-" she remembered a general Christmas rite. "…I don't have presents for any of you." Conan cast her an amused glance through his fake lenses. "Haibara – do you really think you are just welcomed if you bring presents with you? Hmm…but if you do insist…" In a typical manner he pinched his chin and acted as if he had to think really hard about it. "- bring along the coffee." Speechless she gaped at his laughing face. "My mom decided that we're all going to drink alcohol-free glogg this year and if the glances of my father and Kogoro are anything to go by, they really would appreciate some coffee – as do I. So let's go! Grab the coffee, take your jacket and off we go."

Ai did not budge. How did he _do_ that? How did he manage to surprise her like this and involve her into his life all the time without any efforts?

"I'm waiting~" he said in a sing-song voice, leaning forward to catch her glance. His blue eyes glinted adventurous and challenging. As if it was totally natural to invite her to such an intimate get-together. Wondering she noticed that her lips had formed a small smile on their own. _'Why not?' "_Alright Kudo-kun, I'm ready in a minute." While she turned around to her laptop to shut it down, she felt her smile spreading and real excitement bubbled up inside her – even though she was well aware that she headed out to a full blown dose of Christmas-kitsch.

The coffeepot in hands she went back to the door, slipped into her boots and grabbed her jacket. As she followed Conan along the way to the neighbor-house, the little snowflakes she'd watched from the window, now glistened around her. The clear, cold air filled her lunges and her breath came out in small white clouds. Despite her jacket the short distance was enough to give her the shivers. But before she could get annoyed that she hadn't put on a scarf, they already stood on the small stair in front of the double-winged front door. Conan had barely stretched up to the handle and opened the door, when they were met by warmth and the bubble of voices. Ai stopped and enjoyed how the air from inside the house stroke over her cool cheeks, carrying Christmassy scents and promises. It reminded her that Christmas Eve could be so much more than presents and chocolate. Out of her treasured drawer, after such a long time, sentiments and pictures got through to her – Crawling through cracks and keyhole like a whiff of fogg.

The smell of fresh fir in the middle of the living room, mixing with that of a lovingly prepared meal.

Christmas songs sounding out of the radio nonstop.

Decoration, sparkling in candle-light.

Beaming faces – just because they enjoyed being together and leaving all the trouble behind them for a few hours.

"What's up? Coming?" Conan's voice made her attention snap back. He was already in the hallway and slipped into his scuffs.

Ai smiled while she walked through the door. Maybe she would dare to open the drawer completely after tonight and maybe – just maybe her memories would bring her back some of the feelings she'd loved so much as a child – hopeful anticipation, harmony, being cared of. The feeling of Christmas Eve.

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Merry Christmas everyone! *hugs*


End file.
